Significantly insignificant...

There is a slightly bitter salt flavor to the waters of Redondo Beach, California, which, prior to toda was unfamiliar to a third generation Cape Codder. But insurance of my familiarity with such savory libation was made manifest by the crashing waves that pummeled me and spit me and my borrowed surfboard out, utterly disrespecting me.
For those of you who know me well, I am a bit of a control freak. For those of you who know me very well, you know that as I grow more intimate with my Father in Heaven, He is mercilessly beating this mindset out of me. He loves me so much that He will allow me to be dumped off the board, shoved under the surfaces, and dragged along the ocean floor until such time that I truly believe I am floating back to the surface to expel the now unusable air-water cocktail that has migrated to every corner of my lungs, only to be met with part two of a "set" of waves that pulls me under and drags me further.
"You are not a loving God..."
Another wave.
"Okay, You may be, but is this all necessary?"
Another lung-cleansing gulp of Southerncal Blanc... yuck.
"Why are my legs not working?!!!"
CRASH...

This is a lesson that I would have expected to hear at the height of a moment of hubris. This is the type of dialogue that we should be having after a prolonged case of control-freak-itis. If this were a Hollywood moment, I would have shouted "You are in control!!!" and I'd have immediately seen the perfect wave approaching, dropped in, and stood up to ride it in victoriously. But, I had already entered into my first long-board experience with eyes wide open.
Before I even entered the water, I said a quick "You are in control, come surf with me." prayer. So, why couldn't God have spared me the drama, shared a little love, and given me the beginner's luck ride of a lifetime?
Because back home are a dozen and a half people that have either supported my trip here financially and/or are actively praying for me, and He is faithful. The potential for fame and fortune through blogging and ministry presents a lesson that many fail in very public ways. Couple that with an ego that suffers from control freak mentality and pride (see Hat Tip below)and disaster always follows.
The assurance that I am about to enter into a season of worldly success that creates eternal Kingdom impact grows stronger as God makes more clear the vision He has for my life. Isn't He great to give me such a vivid and caring warning beforehand?
What else can I do but worship when He touches down in my life in a life threatening, adrenaline pumping way, to say "Before you get all excited about what's soon to happen in your life, remember it's My deal, My plan, My story that's been going on since eternity past. I am inviting you to play a role, but I need you to do it in humilty."
I am so very small in light of our huge God. Lately, the larger view I get of God, the smaller my prayers. Today's prayer: "Yes. Whatever you want. Amen."


Hat Tips:
"Pride is so hard to deal with. Sometimes, I want it to be just because I said it." -LaShawn Barber Your transparency is priceless. Your accountability is much appreciated.
Louie Giglio - you never cease to amaze me with your outside the box ability to connect dots that I would otherwise have left apart. Significant Insignificance
(Listen to this message or just check out his new book...)